Requiem of dead love

” Far away in those lands of lights and brilliance, where darkness exist only in shadows.”

1: In her room
When I look into you, there’s a need which is only because you want to be far away from your loneliness. It’s me now, and then him, it’s just like another day, another night, another moment. Who cares for love, as love is not to kill oneself, love is far away from our reality. I haven’t seen and heard a sense of love, as I doubt it exist. There can only be need, an obsession, an obstinate will.
He looked into the mirror, glance countenance and thought of love which he never experienced.
He also noticed the unfamiliar sound of his head. He exclaimed, I don’t believe in love, and rushed out of the room.
She lies in blood over the floor, with short breathes and thumping heart. Her eyes wet, as he couldn’t see the love of her, even though she slit her wrist.
Somewhat he was right, as it can’t be love. Love can’t be proved. It’s just like an air, you need it to live.
She saw him entering back with some cotton balls and bandaids. He cleaned her, and put the ointment, wrapped her and took her over bed. Irritatingly he asked her to close eyes and sleep, this is enough for today, don’t make things more hazardous for us. Stroked her hair into sleep. She was calm inspite of the scene, as he was there close to her, caring for her, unregarded of the condition of him and the type of difficulty she put him into.
She went to sleep, and he sat along her with feeling of disgust and cheated. His mind rovers all night long, and with feeling of disdain he too fall asleep.
2: Few weeks later
He was confused with himself, as obsession of her somewhat charmed him, and let him feel the goal of someone’s life. He unwanted come across the memories related to her. It was time to redeem so he journeyed for her last wish.
I guess, will be going to meet her parents and tell them the truth. They deserve to know it. I thought much of it and this is the only way I could come out of it. I can’t live like this anymore.
3: On the way
He prepared his mind and thoughts, as bewildered of how he will be going to present the truth. It’s hard and consequences of it, would vanish his identity. Many times he thought of return back but the push of coming over it tend to keep him moving. He took off the cab, and asked few the address he had scribbled on the paper year back.
Do you know where is this resident? And after some attempts he stood in front of the house of her. He could smell the fear of self, as he trembled while entering the gate of the house.

4: In her house
He managed to introduce himself to her father, and meanwhile her mother comes with a tea for him. It’s not required, please!
They sat quietly in the hall with the moment of awkwardness. Her father told, she told about you, you are a nice guy. He hesitantly shook his head. Her mother was quite and uninterested in any of talk. How long you knew her? Her father continued.
H: Ummm, 3 years.
F: Did she told you anything about it.
H: No
F: You told you came to say something. What is it?
H: I am sorry.
F: Sorry for what.
H: I am the reason behind all of it.
F: Don’t feel like that. We too feel the same sometime, as we couldn’t understand her.
H: No, I mean…
His eyes filled with tears, heart pounded heavily, clutching his fist in nervousness he said.
I was there that night.
He gasped, sighed, and continued.
We had an argument. I never loved her, nor wanted to marry her. It’s was her obsession, I never said, I never felt but now I feel it. I want her badly, I am sorry for all of it. I don’t know what to do now, please forgive me, I am the reason.
He continued, she cut herself and I felt it’s again a drama. I was angry on her and rushed out of the room. I wish would have returned back, fix up the things. Could stayed there for the night, healed her, could stroked her to sleep. I am sorry. I am the criminal, please do whatever you want to do with me, I can’t live by this guilt, I’ll die too, I am sorry.
And the silence occupied the room with all of them into no state of correctness.
Her mother whispered, God bless her soul!
The end!

Ameliorate 

Sitting in the midst of tweeting tweets, with eyes closed and heart open. 
As I melt down with feelings, there’s a silent insight of unexplored love for myself. The one who doesn’t want to hurt others so couldn’t hurt by itself. I revolve around my own being, for love, trust, faith, hope and ambition. 

Caring is courageous. I care for myself, and bestow to the caring. Just a touch of care, a sigh of closeness, a warmth of understanding, and the thoughts wandering. A blanket of care under and above. 

My silence is louder than my words. More fluent in silence, holding my hands for the infinite to swallow my being into nothingness. 

I see my shadow disappearing in the darkness of night, and I seek for it, as to feel not alone in this illusory world. As aloneness itself is an illusory. Being in self triggers the unworthiness of thoughts, of projected dreams, of quest of selflessness.